John Gottman and Julie Schwartz are American researchers who have listed the most common life dreams of the thousands of couples they have worked with.
Alone or with your partner, look at the list and discuss it.
When your partner talks about the dreams that resonate with her or him, don’t be pragmatic (yet): start by asking questions to understand.
Why is this important to you?
Is there a story behind this dream that I don’t know about?
Is there an important value or belief for you associated with this life dream?
Is this goal connected in any way to your past?
If this goal was not accomplished, is there a fear or a disaster scenario related?
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The experience of peace
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Unity with nature
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Exploring who I am
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Adventure
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A spiritual journey
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Justice
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Honor
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Unity with my past
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Healing
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Knowing my family
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Becoming all I can be
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Having a sense of power
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Dealing with my aging
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Exploring a creative side of myself
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Becoming more powerful
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Getting over past hurts
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Becoming more competent
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Asking God for forgiveness
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Exploring an old part of myself I have lost
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Getting over a personal hang up
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Having a sense of order
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Being able to be productive
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A place and a time to just « be »
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Being able to truly relax
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Reflecting on my life
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Getting my priorities in order
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A sense of freedom
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Finishing something important
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Exploring the physical side of myself
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Being able to compete and win
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Travel
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Quietness
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Building something important
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Saying goodbye to something
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Ending a chapter of my life
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Love
